


Snap Desicions

by TheGeekySquirrel



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Character Study, Forced Work, Gen, Hugbear Got Issues, Kidnapping, Klarg Has Issues, Mind Manipulation, Missing Scene(s), THB "ruined" his life, Tea, ish?, like i said
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGeekySquirrel/pseuds/TheGeekySquirrel
Summary: Klarg was a crime boss.Then those threeidiotsburst into his life.





	Snap Desicions

He’s sitting in his office, with his dogs napping lazily at his feet and a small stack of paperwork on his desk. A tune he’d heard the last time he went to Phandalin is running through his head on repeat. He absently thinks about going back soon. Perhaps his favorite tea shop has a new kind for him to try. 

 

Then three adventurers- a dwarf, a human, and that damn elf- burst into his life to completely ruin it.

 

Honestly, what happened next was all their fault. They came in looking scary as all hell, of course Percival attacked. No one can blame the poor pup, he was just doing his best. Now, that damn elf on the other hand. One could and should ask why the hell he cast charm person. Klarg is a reasonable bugbear, he probably would’ve had a better welcome for them if they hadn’t thrown his dog in a fire. And then they charmed him and cleaned him out before the three of them got the hell out of there. It wasn’t really like the charm wore off for Klarg, and it definitely didn’t take longer than a few minutes after the guys left. In fact, he was still washing their teacups when he suddenly snapped out of it. 

 

Klarg held his job for another two weeks before he decided he was gonna take that trip to Phandalin. In the meantime, his problems would hopefully sort themselves out. Except, there was one thing he realized upon arrival that didn’t quite work with his plan.

 

There was no Phandalin. Not anymore. 

 

He later regretted getting closer to check it out. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been ambushed by kidnappers. They passed him around Faerun for what felt like years, putting him to work every time he reached a new place. He found his ways to cope with this situation relatively quickly. At night, he’d fall asleep thinking about his family. His moma and papa and Chrisie and- fuck, a lot of times he almost ended up crying. He missed them so much and just wanted to go home at this point. Fuck being outside of the lab, he wanted his family back. But he couldn’t have that where he was. 

 

Then, when the going got rough, he started thinking about what he’d do when he met those three again. Sometimes, he thought about giving them tea and having nice conversations. Other times, he thought about ripping them into pieces for what they’ve done. Not just to him, to Phandalin too, because that scene had their names written all over it. He’d find his grin again either way. That was enough for him, at least for now. 

 

By his count, it had been around four months after meeting those chumps when he got sold off to a racing gang. He’d only been with them for two or so hours when he saw those idiots again. His first thought was he was gonna fucking kill them. But then they saved him, for whatever reason. It was like they’d been changed somehow. He spared them this time, but made sure they weren’t gonna follow him. He’d find them again. Right now, he just needed to get the hell away from here. 

 

He rode away from that awful city without stopping. It was halfway through the night before he even considered taking a break. Just as he was getting back on his weird cart thing, he felt that little mental click again. That’s when he started feeling like he’d just betrayed his closest friends. His head told him he needed to go back, and, well, Klarg’s always been kind of impulsive.

 

He saw the race starting from a few miles away. Something just told him that’s where his friends were. So, he revved his engine and went straight towards it.

 

He’s so glad he did; nothing else could have saved this damn elf. He didn’t exactly think that way later, when he finally snapped back to his anger and realized what the hell had happened. By then, those three had  _ driven off a fucking cliff _ , so Klarg assumed he’d never see them again. He started walking back to Goldcliff, because the the hell else was he going to do?

 

It was just his good luck finally catching up to him that he got hired to do something he could fucking do. With  _ those three _ finally out of his life, he started building it back up again. He got the gerblins that were still cool with him to send his dogs to his new home. He became kind of a well-known newbie in the ring. Hell, the legendary Jess the Beheader kinda became his buddy. Life was good for a while. 

 

Still, sometimes… sometimes that  _ something  _ would snap in him again. Sometimes he’d honestly start  _ missing _ those three idiots. He’d regret not doing more to help them the last time he saw them. But then it’d snap again and he’d tell himself they’re better off forgotten and that’d be that. 

 

Then the night of Battlefest happened. Honestly, he’d considered himself lucky to even be there at first. Then that damn elf was there and, well, Karg lifted him up and that’s the exact moment he felt that  _ thing _ snap in his head again. And he  _ hated _ it. For the next like twenty minutes, it just kept feeling like snapping. His head hurt like hell. Then that dwarf cast some kind of truth spell and everything just spilled. He felt like him in the angry way, but he was still saying some really good stuff about them. 

 

Is… is this how he really felt? Fuck, he needed to reexamine his whole life after this. They told him about his family and, yeah, that’s how he really fucking felt about these guys. Gods, they were assholes, but they were his assholes. They left quickly after that, leaving behind a stone of farspeech frequency and a promise to come to tea someday. Not anytime soon, Klarg still had some figuring out to do, but someday. They’d come over for tea and it would be really nice. 

 

He spent the next few months mostly thinking. Those assholes called every so often to chat, mostly ‘cause they seemed to really like talking to him. That was new. They even took the time to ask if he’d contacted his family yet. He always assured them he had, because that was finally the truth. He’d located Lucas’s lab and wrote to them in the first time in years. 

 

Every letter from them smelled like tomato sauce and mint. If he closed his eyes and concentrated on the scent, it was almost like he was home again. 

 

Then the Story and Song came. He fought the Hunger back right at his family’s side. Finally, they were back together. As soon as they heard a little boy’s voice telling them they’d won, he dissolved in tears in his moma’s arms. And she hugged him. They all hugged him. 

 

Gods, he really needed to go thank those assholes and invite them over for tea that Friday. For now, he stayed wrapped up in his family’s arms with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about Klarg whilst on a road trip today & realized we know almost nothing about what the fuck happened to him in between Here There Be Gerblins and Petals to the Metal, or what happened to him after that. Thus this happened. It's short and shitty and unedited and I love it.  
> If you liked whatever this was, please leave a kudos or a comment! I really cherish every single one!!
> 
> Have a nice day & stay safe out there y'all <3<3


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